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" But, sadly, a few months later, your conversation changed to, "I can't believe he turned out to be so emotionally unavailable, and commitment-phobic." There are people who chronically meet and date individuals who, at first, seem so perfect for a warm, loving relationship. it's so easy to become intoxicated during that early infatuation stage when you meet someone who fits your pictures and seems like the perfect match. Our deep love for them can put us in denial of the fact that they are unavailable for an intimate, close relationship with us.